Monday, Jeff and I took a fast trip to Cary, NC to see Flight of the Conchords. If you don’t know them, you’ll have to check them out — talented and funny Kiwis that we were introduced to by Tim and Lisa — another reason we love our T & L. The concert was great but HOT and we got upgraded in our hotel, so a great trip.The problem is I have a geography disability that luckily hasn’t been life-threatening to this point. The Cary Monday concert is one in a long line of little geo-blunders I’ve made over the course of our marriage. Kim’s not-so-accurate geography rules go a little like this:
- If something is in an adjacent state, it is 2-3 hours away. Not true — Cary’s 4 1/2 hours away so maybe a 9 hour drive isn’t the best way to start a work week. Also, NC (the entire state) is not 10 degrees cooler than SC every day (another Kim Geo Rule), all of the time. It was 97 degrees at our outdoor concert — no fair.
- Everything in Charleston County is 30 minutes away – 45 with traffic. No matter how many times this is proven wrong, I continue to make plans in downtown Charleston and am always amazed at how long it takes me to get there. I am repeating the mantra, “remember Edisto,” over and over as it is 2 hours away and that still shocks me.
- By the same token, everything in Florida is an hour from Disney. I’ve driven to Key West (or napped while Jeff drove) but still operate under this falsehood. I once got great cheap flights for the whole fam damily to Ft. Lauderdale (nonrefundable too) so we could go to Disney. When I called Jeff and told him about my deal, he told me that it was a 5,6,7 hour drive – I really don’t remember now, but it was too long. He thankfully took over the vacation planning and found us a super place in Key Largo that was one of our favorite vacations ever (Key Lime Sailing Club).
- And my final, proudest geo faux pas….when Jeff and I were first married, we were driving to New Jersey to see my Aunt Phyllis and I suggested we stop in Boston on the way. I remembered going there in childhood trips and it was a few hours from NJ, but until I said it out loud, I hadn’t considered the North/South thing. Jeff laughed and has enjoyed reminding me of this during the following 26 years of marriage. I would be unapproachable without these small flaws!
In my defense, the geography standards in my education were moved from 8th grade to 7th grade between my 7th/8th grade years. If you graduated from high school in 1985, you too might share my educational shame. It’s not my fault. Public education strikes again.
I have tried to compensate for this inadequacy by taking history classes, using map placemats (for my kids wink wink) and reading National Geogrphic magazine, but maybe the geography education window was in middle school and that bad boy slammed shut.
But onward and upward–I will keep making travel plans (because it’s fun) and hope they work out. So far, they have — but maybe I’ll consult mapquest before I click on that confirm button for airplane tickets.